Janice: How could you be so stupid? You ruined my favorite pair of jeans! Look how short they are now. Did you put them in the dryer?
Stan: Yeah, but, look, I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to shrink them. I was actually trying to help you out. They had been on the floor all week with all your other dirty clothes. You said you'd move them Wednesday, and today's Sunday. I thought I'd wash them to help you out since you never moved them. I was just trying to help.
Janice: Do you know how much I paid for these jeans!?! Now they're ruined.
Stan: Hey, I said was sorry. What else do you want me to say? I didn't know they would shrink. Maybe if you had moved them when you said you would, this never would have happened.
Janice: Are you blaming me for YOU ruining my jeans? Maybe if you knew how to wash clothes. C'mon, Stan, you're a freakin' grown man. Do you need your mom to come over and show you how to wash and dry clothes?
Stan: Listen, I won't touch your clothes ever again so we don't have to worry about this happening. But, like I said, had you not lied and actually moved them when you said you would, this never would have happened.
Janice: There you go blaming me, again, Dryer Boy. Don't touch my clothes, because you obviously don't know what you're doing.
Ever been in a situation like this?
Whether the discussion/argument/disagreement was over ruined jeans or something more alarming, here's the truth: your natural reaction to being accused of something is to deflect and find an opening to accuse in return.
This is an automatic reaction, which means it happens before you even realize it has happened. (Scary, right?)
In other words, no matter how responsible and accountable you are, you're going to automatically look for the chink in someone else's armor when they come at you with all that accusation noise.
So ... if you can't always stop it, is there anything you can do about it?
You'll learn what to do about the naturally-human response to being blamed. We'll also spend time inquiring about what's happening when we respond to accusations with accusations, and what to do instead.
If you show up Tuesday with an open heart, and you're ready to work on yourself (not your mate), you will have a breakthrough in your marriage. Period.
I know it's a bold promise, and I stand by it 100%.
If you want your marriage to be transformed -- not just get a little bit better -- join us.
Tuesday, 11/23 @ 8 PM EST / 7 PM CST / 5 PM PST
Click here to register for Marriage Transformation Night with Marriage Works!