Yearning for a new way will not produce it. Only ending the old way can do that.
You cannot hold onto the old, all the while declaring that you want something new.
The old will defy the new;
The old will deny the new;
The old will decry the new.
There is only one way to bring in the new. You must make room for it.
- Neale Donald Walshe
For the past three weeks, spouses just like you have been making room for the new ...
- new attitudes
- new reactions
- new responses
- new behaviors
- new intimacy
- new happiness
- new thoughts
- new ways of being in their marriage
These spouses haven't just wanted a new way, they've done something about it. They discovered that wanting is not enough.
Let me prove it to you.
- How long have you wanted to feel differently about your spouse?
- How long have you wanted to change your response when you're wronged?
- How long have you wanted more intimacy in your marriage?
- How long have you wanted more love and less fighting?
- How long have you wanted to stop sulking, blaming, and complaining?
Has your wanting, no matter how earnest it is been, produced any change?
Understand this: wanting a new way is not enough to produce it.
What already exists will defy, deny, and decry the new.
Certainly you've experienced that.
Maybe at some point you learned a three-step plan to stop yelling, but before you could get to step two, you were already yelling.
Maybe you learned the "secret" to getting along with your mate's ex, then the next thing you knew, you were punishing your mate and his/her ex over something that bothered you.
The old will always defy, deny, and decry the new.
BUT, what if it was possible to make room for the new so it could come to pass?
What if you could actually get your yelling under control because you realized the story you were telling yourself (ahem, inventing) was driving you to yell?
What if you could actually get along with your mate and his/her ex because you finally saw that you were assigning blame and responsibility to them over something going on with you, not them?
I'm here to tell you that it IS possible.
For the past three weeks, spouses just like you have been making way for the new by discovering what's true about them, then learning how not to be held captive by it.
Sound too good to be true?
In my next post, I'm going to have some real stories from real spouses who have participated the Marriage Transformation Nights, and experienced breakthroughs in their marriage they didn't see coming.
While their stories of breakthrough and transformation are encouraging, their stories belong to them -- not you.
Don't you want your own marriage breakthrough story?
The first step to having your own breakthrough story is to register for this coming Monday's Marriage Transformation Night.
That night will be special because we're dedicating the whole session to hearing what spouses have discovered about themselves, and how they are living from the distinctions we've discussed (make wrong, asking, "What if?", and what you don't know about you).
If your marriage is sorry, click here to register.
If your marriage is solid, click here to register.
If your marriage is so-so, click here to register.
If you're married, gonna be married, or want to be married, click here to register.